When will it be the right time?

Once again, husband and I are entering a season of transition. It seems to be a regular thing for us, so I wonder whether or not I can even call it “again” – or if I should just call it “still.” We have been with friends here in Seattle, but now that time is drawing to a close, and we are caught in a little bit of limbo. It’s about timing right now. It’s time for us to leave, but then there are others we’re praying about being in community with, but the timing isn’t quite right. There’s also a chance we will wind up in a new place all on our own, but we aren’t sure what the timing is for that either. We are hoping and praying that in this next season, we’ll be led into the right place for our family in this season, in this time – for us and for the little light of our lives that is our daughter. But it’s never just that simple, is it?

Life here in Seattle has been amazing, but we still seem to be on the simplicity game plan. No matter how we try, we never seem to be able to break out of “enough” into “more than enough.” This isn’t an issue, it’s just a matter of re-exploring and re-understanding what Spirit is doing in our lives. I’m finally beginning to use my considerable skills in faith-based organizations, but not in the way I had expected. And it’s part-time. Aaron’s got more work from his clients than he can keep up with at this point, and he’s taking care of Amanda part-time while I work. We’ve talked about putting Amanda into more daycare, but we also want to take this precious time to be with her. Again, it’s about timing. It’s not just about having enough time in our days, but about making wise and meaningful choices with our time. I’m sure if Aaron just went and got a job somewhere full time, we’d enter the land of “more than enough” very quickly. But we don’t have a lot of time left with Amanda in this season – the precious, toddler, crazy-making, but oh-so-wonderful adventure of the first few years of life. We’ve been loving having time with her, to learn about her and love her and share life with her. Is it hard? Of course. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Timing comes up again and again. And people question our choices – are we spending our time wisely? Is both of us working part-time really the best use of our time?

Then there’s the timing of my life goals and plans. After all, I am doubly mastered 😉 and have heaps of life experience. I thought I’d be an ordained pastor by now… but I’m not. My friend tells me I’m already a pastor, and to some extent she’s right. I take care of the unchurched, the semi-churched, the post-churched, the anti-churched, and even the churched with finding right-fit spiritual practices. But could I do it full-time for a living right now? Probably not. I keep wondering when all this experience and education and community will swirl together in the perfect storm for my life’s pursuit. When the timing will align, and I’ll find myself making a living doing what I am trained for and what I love. But the timing… it’s not quite right.

So I wait. I wait for the timing, and I trust that where and when we are, that they are perfectly enough for us.